Sunday, November 1, 2009
OK, OK I get it....I need to start praying again and harder than before.
Last night with Pastor Abel's' message on prayer and how we need to continually run the race of endurance no matter how hard or uncomfortable it may seem to us now, we know that it is for the betterment of our relationship with you.
You have given me the book of Psalms to start studying in my daily devotional and today it was Psalm 5. David is praying for you judgement against those who accuse him of things while is on the run from his son and his accusers. He asks you to judge them fairly for the false accusations, while protecting him along with allowing your followers to continually praise you and to surround them like a shield in their trouble times.
And then....in the Jesus Calling book I received at Women's Retreat today's reading you say:
"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart;s desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am please each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence.
When you realize that your mind has wandered away from Me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you. Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with Me, you achieve a victory. rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light your days."
Thank you for showing me where I need to work on our relationship. I know that over the past month I feel like I have been lacking something and looking back, I know it was the wonderful communication that we had. Thank you for using these things to show me how to get back on track with you.
I love you Lord,
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Me and my Popo
Aunt Carla (left), Aunt Jamie (middle) and mom (right)
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A few weeks ago, when Dave came back into the picture, I was feeling super anxious about something. I had a dream one night that God was putting me at a fork in the road. 1 way was Dave and the possibility of having another shot at a relationship with him. The other way was the unknown. Over the past months of being single, I have really started getting involved with school, family, and working on me and I felt that growth was what was down the other path. I asked my friends to pray that God would show me which path to choose. After a lot (and I mean a lot) of praying and deliberation, I chose the path of the unknown and told Dave that I just couldn't do "us" again.
So the path of the unknown was what I was heading down. Rewind about 2 months ago when I was working one night in the Media Ministry room at church I came in and say this guy talking with Linda. Linda introduced us and his name was Ron. Her husband Harry came in and started talking about Ron and he chuckled and said," Hey it's Ron and Ronnie." That night when I left, I thought to myself, I kind of hope Ron comes by more often. Not going to lie, but I found him very attractive the moment I met him. Ahhh lust of the eyes, lol.
July rolls around, I go back into serve and lo-and-behold....there is Ron! Linda informs me that the guy who used to help out in there was MIA and had been having some problems at home, so Ron would be filling in for Matt. Now what is that saying, "Ask and ye shall receive." So Ron and I started talking, just kind of small talk. Harry came back in and told me that Ron works in the grocery business as a night receiver (same thing my dad did when he and mom started dating) and started talking him up to me. I love Harry! He reminds me of a conglomeration of both my grandpas. So over the next couple of weeks, Ron and I started talking more during the time we were serving. One night I was going to meet up with some friends and go see a midnight showing of Ghostbusters. Ron asked what I was going to do after church and I told him about the movie, and asked him if he would like to come along. He said yes and I got his number and told him I would call when I found out the details. Well the movie never happened, but we ended up talking for about a good 30 minutes the first time on the phone.
Over the next week or so, we would talk more and more on the phone and at church about anything and everything. There was never any silence over the phone. We were also going to home fellowship on Wednesday nights so that gave us more time to talk. One night he asked if I would like to go out for dinner after service and of course I said yes. I was really enjoying his company and found him extremely well versed and knowledgeable.
So we went to dinner (Saturday) and then went for a walk on the beach. I went home that night and prayed. I honestly was not ready for a relationship as I already had so much on my plate and I was tired of dating. I was tired of investing my time and energy into things that never turned out more that a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I want to find "The One"! So that night I asked God that if I should peruse this as more than a friendship that he would show me. Now up to this point in my walk, I had never really seen anything that I had asked God for, except for Caleb. I am sure He was showing me Himself all the time, but I just never noticed it.
The next day (Sunday) was just a typical day and when Ron texted me he called me "my". I was at the beach with Terri and the text he sent was "How is my beach bunny today?" I thought, why is he referring to me as "my"? I ignored it and it just kind of continued.
So comes Tuesday and after my morning study, I thought I would "test" God. FYI....never test God unless you are ready to have it confirmed! I was talking to God and told him that I found myself growing fond of Ron and enjoyed our time and conversations. I asked Him that I not date anyone else except my future husband and that if Ron was "The One" then he would show me in a way that I would not be able to ignore or put off as anything else, like I did with the "my" thing. I went about my day and I came home from lunch. Ron had worked 3am-Noon and he called me when he got home. He told me that he was talking to his co-worker about me and informed me that he told her something that would probably freak me out. Jokingly I asked if I needed to sit down, and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea. I thought to myself "great, just as I'm starting to dig him, he's going to tell me that he just wants to be friends". So I prepared myself for the worst. What came over the phone, still blows me away! He told me that his friend noticed a change in him over the past few weeks and wanted to know what was up. He told her that he was talking and hanging out with me. He showed her a picture I had sent to him of Hunny and I, he paused for a second and said, "Then I told her that I feel that you are my future wife." (OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG! was going through my head!!!!!) I started to cry! But of course they were happy tears!
Within 5 hours, God answered my prayers! I was shocked at what Ron had said. We had only talked and hung out maybe 2 or 3 times. No hugging, hand holding, nothing had happened between us. Nothing physical at all!!!!!!! Nothing like this had ever happened in my life...EVER! What man tells a girl that after only knowing her for 2 weeks! I then told him of what I prayed for that morning. He started laughing. I was completely blown away!
Now each and every day, I pray that God continues to give us confirmations that we are meant to be together and that we are each others help mates, but I don't know if it gets more clear than that. He reminds me so much of my dad in his laid back attitude. And you know that girls tend to look for things in their mates that their dad's possessed. I mean he even has the same job as my dad did. So I will just keep praying and walking along the path of this unknown and see where it leads. Who knows, maybe it'll lead down an aisle towards Ron and Pastor Mike :)
Friday, July 31, 2009
He then starts talking about the 10 men listed in chapter 5: Adam, Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalael, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech and Noah. It starts with the first man, Adam, and ends with Noah bringing the flood. No real big surprise, right? Well then he started giving us the meanings of these guys names:
Mahalael: blessed God
Jared: came down
Methuselah: his death shall bring
Now if you list out these 10 names in genealogical and chronological order you have this sentence:
Man was appointed mortal sorrow, but the blessed God will come down teaching that His death shall bring the despairing comfort.
Here in Genesis 5 God was telling us that Jesus would come to save us from eternal sorrow! How amazing and awesome is God!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
July 5th: My poor feet! I wore the cutest heels to the STP concert on Saturday, but man-o-man, they killed my feet! I have 5 blisters and my "ring" toe on my left foot feels so wierd. Its like I have something wrapped around it.
July 6th: Well today I have officially lost 50 lbs! I still have some omre to loose, and I really want to loose them soon!
July 7th: Just got done working out. This WILL NOT help me loose the rest of the weight, but darn it was yummy!
July 8th: I got a scrapbook kit in the mail and it had instructions to make pop-up cards. My sponsor kids birthday is this month as well, so I made her this card. It's super cute and is sparkly too :)
July 9th: YEAH ME! I went grocery shoppong and remember to take my own bags! I was able to get everything I bought in them, so no plastic bags came home with me. I even took my old plastic bags to the store for recycling. Go green!
July 10th: So tonight Terry and I went to Crusin' Grad! It was so much fun! There are 3 pics on here for today:
The clouds as I was heading out to Oceanside to pick up terry. They look like small cottonballs.
My favorite car that I saw on Crusin' Grand. There were so many, but this was my favorite of all!
GASP!!!!! I wore a dress out in public! I actually felt like a grown up (weird?) but comfy in it.
July 11th: There have been so many spiders in the apartment complex and this web was right outside my door. I love looking at webs. It is amazing what a little creature can get done in 1 night and that it can stand up to things flying into it. God is amazing!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The empty spot is where I sit :)
I forgot how much work school is. I was talking to my dad and he asked if it was what I expected. Honestly, it is but things were so much easier when I was in school. Not only because I was used to doing school work, but that's what my life revolved around and was my main focus. Now, it's work, then school. Oh yeah plus trying to have a life and keep things tidy around the apartment and take care of Hunny.
Stressed, just a little.
Monday, May 11, 2009
But this past weekend (and continuing this week) I have been baking pretty much non-stop. Why you ask? Well this upcoming weekend (the 16th) my church is having ahomeless outreach at Bucaneer park out in Oceanside. Mom and I helped last year and had a blast and walked away so very blessed and filled with love, that whne I saw it in the bulletin I signed up ASAP!
I signed up for desserts and when the lady called she said make whatever your speciality is, but something that is portable and quick to grab. So this is what I will have ready for them on Saturday:
Sugar cookies (4-5 dozen)
Chocolate chip cookies (homemade and Pilsbury) (8-10 dozen)
Snickerdoodles (4-5 dozen)
Oatmeal (4-5 dozen)
Chocolate Cupcakes (4 dozen)
Yellow Cupcakes (4 dozen)
White Cupcakes (4 dozen)
Needless to say, my kitchen will be broken in and I am done baking for quite ahile!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Side note-Now, there is a guy and his mom (I think) who live below me. This kid is so rude and drives a BMW. In the afternoon and even sometimes at night he pulls into the garage (which is right below me) and blasts his music! It then echos up into my place and also out the front of his garage, bouncing off the hill right outside and into my apartment.
Anyways, she says no and that she is looking for a Sherry. I told her that I have seen an older woman there. She asks what time are the typically home. This kind of bothers me just a little. I informed her that I hear the garage door open and close all night and that I know for sure there is someone home during my lunch hour. She wrote down the times I gave her, looked at me, smiled and said "Thank you". With that she got into her car and drove off.
SO WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO I HAVE LIVING BELOW ME???????
Updates sure to follow.
Friday, April 17, 2009
I have officially started school which is taking up much more time than what I thought it would. Why was I expecting that my Hermeneutics class would be a simple class? I mean it is a class on basic Bible interpretation. Ummmm trying to translate without allegorizing what the Scriptures mean is a lot harder than I thought. I am in the process of reading 2 books and writing a 1 page summary of a single chapter on Bible Interpretation as well as a book called "Food for Faith". It takes a look at your personal relationship with God. Needless to say I had no idea that I was going to be examining my relationship with God in this class. I also have questions to answer for each lecture I listen to online. Problem is...the syllabus jumps around so trying to figure out where the guy is speaking from is kinda hard. Overall, I am enjoying the class and cannot wait to see what all I have learned by the end of June.
I have also moved into my new apartment! Yes, I moved AGAIN! 2 years ago this month I originally moved into this apartment complex into a 1 bedroom, then my (ex)friend Brad called and told me that he wanted to move out here, and so I moved into a 2 bedroom. We know how that turned out. After being in that apartment for a little over a year, I decided that I didn't feel like paying that much in rent and so I downsized back into a 1 bedroom. Hunny and I are still getting adjusted to the place as it is hard to find a place for everything that fit into a 2 bedroom and put it away in a 1 bedroom. No more extra room to put all my crap when company comes over :(
And then finally, I have been diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. For over a year I have had chronic diarrhea (about a month before I went to Israel). At first I thought it was from the stress of Brad ditching me with the apartment, then it got worse when I came back from Israel, so I thought it was something I was eating. I was drinking a protein shake in the morning so I cut that out for a month and it did not get better. I then did my own food studies eliminating different food groups as well as adding different food into my diet. Nothing got better. So after much asking and pleading from my family I went to see my doctor. I asked him right away to try an antibiotic only because I was hoping that it was a bacteria in my system. It didn't help. The doctor told me that if the antibiotic didn't help I would have to go see a gasetroenterologist. So I went to see Dr. Kumar and went under for a colonoscopy. I was thinking as I was going in (and the nurses reaffirmed this) that I was too young to have this going on! So he took some biopsies and sure enough they came back as ulcerative colitis. So now I am on an anti-inflammatory as well as a probiotic which is helping to slow things down. The nurse pratcioner also informed me that I am anemic as well as I have some signs of developing Rheumatory Arthritis. Once again...I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!
So now my life is school, still unpacking and taking medications (up to 15 pills a day). Luckily school is showing me and reaffirming to me that I need to trust in God. He programed my body this way and knew everything was going to happen this way as well. I just have to accept it, which is the hardest thing to do. Not just a as human but as a Christian. I just have to have faith that He will get me through this as he has gotten me through so many other things in my life.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My bother asked me why I would want to go to bible college and what I would use it for. Well it's an easy answer...to know more about what I believe and to see where God wants to use me, plain and simple. For years I've wondered where He has wanted to use me, but I've yet to receive an answer from Him, or have I? I'm not sure. I have 7 years to finish school and will come out with a BA in Theology (makes me sound kinda smart huh?) and I am so excited to get going on this.
As my pastor told me....happy bible thumping!
Monday, January 12, 2009
So here we go, week 2 of this:
Jan 4: I finally got my garage organized...1 small step for man, 1 GIANT step for me, lol
Jan 5: It was the start of a new delivery schedule for my PruFlo water that I love
Jan 6: Jason and I went to the gym tonight and on the way home, we stopped off at Panera, yummy
Jan 7: Over the weekend Hunny was not doing so well. She vomited a few times last Saturday, again on Monday and on Tuesday. She also had some diarrhea. I was afraid that she after she had gotten into my trash can in the bathroom, she was blocked. Money signs just flashed in my eyes when I realized that. I was so worried about her only because I have seen it so many times with other peoples lets, but now it was my own. This was the morning of our trip to the vets to find out what was going on with her. Luckily the doctor just thought that she had an upset stomach and gave me some medication for it :) Yeah no surgery!!!
Jan 8: My 2nd time to the gym this week! I was kinda hungry afterwards so I stopped off at Del Taco to get some grub. I should've known that there were going to be problems. I asked for 2 beef soft tacos with no lettuce and an order of regular nachos. When I got home, I found my pitiful tacos! The meat could've been scooped into maybe a tablespoon!
Jan 9: My Project 365 kit arrived!!!!!
Jan 10: Jason, his sister Carrie her hubby Clinton and their son and I all went Ice Skating. It had been years since I did that, but it was so much fun. It was really dark so I was not able to get great pictures of anyone :(
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Dec 30: I was not able to get to sleep at all! I was up until 2:30 am or 3 am, I'm not too sure. Here I am at work.
Dec 31: Jason and I went down to Pacific Beach to hang out with his old roommate, Tony. He came down from Canada (brrrrr) to get married. Here we are at 11:59pm
Jan 1 2009: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! The beautiful sunrise from my balcony
Jan 2: I really need to get organized :(
Jan 3: I also got a Wii Fit for Christmas. Spent about 1.5 hrs on the thing today
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I sat there thinking, I know no one who has a 8 year old girls who would want these things. So I sent Dave a text asking if he wanted them for her. He said yes (darn it!) To be honest I was kind of hoping that he would say no so I wouldn't have to see him. We just do not get along anymore. He has texted me some nights from anywhere from 10 to midnight just to say hi, RIIIIIGHT. So we have arranged to meet up on Monday after he gets done with his workout. Dave accused me of a lot of things and meeting up with people behind his back was one of them, even though I never did.
So I did what I had to, I sent Jason a text letting him know that I would be seeing him on Monday night. I waited anxiously to see what he would say, and was getting ready to tell Dave that he would need to come by when Jason was here. To my surprise, Jason said OK. He told me that he trusts me and knows that I am with him, and no one else. Now this is a huge shocker to me considering that 99% of all the guys I have dated in the past have accused me or were super suspicious of me because I have guy friends, that I was doing things. Not Jason. He is the first guy who actually trusts me!
Each and every day the wall around my heart keeps melting away and I have to say that I am truly falling in love with him.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
OK well the site is super slow with all of the crazy women like me trying to order this kit, so I'll check back in a bit and see if the stupid page will download.
And now off of the scrapbooking subject. The past year was a very interesting year for me. It started out with me moving out of my 1 bedroom apartment just a few buildings down into a 2 bedroom which I was going to share with a friend Brad. He moved in and within 4 months he bailed on me! Yes, I have wonderful "friends". He also only left me 1/2 of his rent for the months he bailed out on. Fan-frickin-tastic! Needless to say, God has provided a way for me to stay in the 2 bedroom as I am pretty much settled in here. Also in January, after 4 years I finally saw the elusive Randy (Caleb's dad). I flew out to Vegas and was so scared that he would not show up, but he did. We spent the most time together that we had ever spent a whopping 3 whole days! I got so very much needed closure and found out why he is the way he is (a very long story).
In April my brother got married to his long time girlfriend, Holly up in Yosemite. It was a very "them" wedding and was very nice. I'm happy to say that they are doing wonderfully and are both adapting to living with someone other than a sibling.
May came and off to Israel I went! I'm what my friend calls "a goner". I want to go back to badly. The first time I was just in complete shock and awe. To be in the places where Jesus performed His miracles was amazing! The next time I go I will still be in awe, but not so much shock :)
When I came back from Israel, Dave and I gave us another try. We dated the previous year (2007) just shy of a year. This time we only lasted 4 months. Needless to say that accusations were thrown around and feelings and thoughts were brought up from our past attempt at the relationship.
Scrapbook vent: ARRRRRRGH!!!! After only 20 minutes the kit went out of stock! I had it in my stupid cart, but the website would not accept my password, so I had to go back, reassign the password and then when I came back to re-log in, it was gone! I am so frustrated with this, that I actually called the corporate offices and complained! I normally don't do this, but I'm upset.
And now back to our blog already in progress:
Anyways, after Dave and I finished I decided I would give me a belated birthday present, I went to the gym and got a trainer! Kyle has whipped my butt into shape and I am happy to say that I have lost 30 lbs and dropped 2 (almost 3) pant sizes in 4 months! I complain sometimes, but I know that he is just doing his job and when I look back at pictures from May, man I really appreciate him!
I also met an incredible man in October. Well re-met him. Jason and I worked together back when we were in high school 10-11 years ago. We knew that we both went to the same church, but it seemed like we were always with someone when we would run into each other. One night I was helping out at a concert at church, and my friend Harry, came up asking how Dave and I were doing (I had put our relationship on a prayer card) I told Harry that God decided to take care of the relationship. Harry asked if he could pray for me for anything and I told him, yes a guy. I told him what I wanted, even the small physical features such as tattoos and facial hair, he smiled and said OK, I'll start praying for you. Well 3 week later, here was Jason.
He is the most sincere man I have ever dated. we have been guarding our hearts for the past 3 months and last night, Jason looked at me and told me that his wall around his heart was starting to disappear and told me that he was starting to fall in love with me! It made me smile from ear to ear! It was a fantastic way to start the New Year (he told me that at 2:00 am).
I hope everyone has a wonderful day and may God bless you all in the upcoming year!