Prayer

Dear God,
OK, OK I get it....I need to start praying again and harder than before.
Last night with Pastor Abel's' message on prayer and how we need to continually run the race of endurance no matter how hard or uncomfortable it may seem to us now, we know that it is for the betterment of our relationship with you.
You have given me the book of Psalms to start studying in my daily devotional and today it was Psalm 5. David is praying for you judgement against those who accuse him of things while is on the run from his son and his accusers. He asks you to judge them fairly for the false accusations, while protecting him along with allowing your followers to continually praise you and to surround them like a shield in their trouble times.
And then....in the Jesus Calling book I received at Women's Retreat today's reading you say:
"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart;s desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am please each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence.
When you realize that your mind has wandered away from Me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you. Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with Me, you achieve a victory. rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light your days."
Thank you for showing me where I need to work on our relationship. I know that over the past month I feel like I have been lacking something and looking back, I know it was the wonderful communication that we had. Thank you for using these things to show me how to get back on track with you.
I love you Lord,
Your daughter

Cancer strikes again!

I've known for a very long time that cancer has run in my family and it has taken away both of my grandparents on my mom's side (Grandmom and Popo) but it has raised it's ugly head again. My most favorite aunt in the whole wide world, Aunt Jamie, has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and lymphoma.

Grandmom and me

A couple of weeks ago she let us know that she had found a mass in her breast and after going to the doctor, they were almost positive that it was not a cyst. They then scheduled another exam and officially found 2 masses in her breasts and 1 in her lymph node. Tuesday (9/22) they did biopsies and the doctors told her off the record that they were pretty confident that the masses in her breasts were benign and that they were mainly concerned about the one in her lymph node. So today (9/24) the results came in and the results were more than happy. At least 1 of the 3 are benign, so that is a good thing, and with the breast cancer they will more than likely perform a mastectomy, but the one with the lymph node scares me the most.

Popo was originally diagnosed with lung cancer which metastasized into lymphoma and then spread through out his body and then finally into his bones (osteoscaroma). Once there is cancer in the lymph nodes, it is the easiest way to spread through the body. I am not sure exactly what kind of cancer Grandmom had since I was only 4-5 when she passed, but I do remember her being sick from the chemo and wearing her cute handkerchiefs on her head to hide her thinning hair.

Me and my Popo

I just love my Auntie more than anything in the world! She was the first family member besides mom and dad I told about Caleb, the person who knew before mom and dad that I was engaged, the person who always listened to me and made time for me, and who most importantly showed me who to make fudge, hahaha.


Aunt Carla (left), Aunt Jamie (middle) and mom (right)

I know that this has happened for a reason and it will only glorify God, but as of right now, it is so hard to see. Why would He allow this to happen to her? She has been through so much and has so much on her plate right now. I know He only gives us as much as we can handle, but when is enough, enough. Digging deeper and praying is the only thing I can do to find answers for this, and offering her help anyway I can is the only way I can go about easing her and her families pain as of right now. His will be done and all in his timing right????

God's Plan (?)

So over the past month or so, I have been drawing closer to God. It is incredible!!!!! I can honestly say that He has been showing himself to me more than ever.

A few weeks ago, when Dave came back into the picture, I was feeling super anxious about something. I had a dream one night that God was putting me at a fork in the road. 1 way was Dave and the possibility of having another shot at a relationship with him. The other way was the unknown. Over the past months of being single, I have really started getting involved with school, family, and working on me and I felt that growth was what was down the other path. I asked my friends to pray that God would show me which path to choose. After a lot (and I mean a lot) of praying and deliberation, I chose the path of the unknown and told Dave that I just couldn't do "us" again.

So the path of the unknown was what I was heading down. Rewind about 2 months ago when I was working one night in the Media Ministry room at church I came in and say this guy talking with Linda. Linda introduced us and his name was Ron. Her husband Harry came in and started talking about Ron and he chuckled and said," Hey it's Ron and Ronnie." That night when I left, I thought to myself, I kind of hope Ron comes by more often. Not going to lie, but I found him very attractive the moment I met him. Ahhh lust of the eyes, lol.

July rolls around, I go back into serve and lo-and-behold....there is Ron! Linda informs me that the guy who used to help out in there was MIA and had been having some problems at home, so Ron would be filling in for Matt. Now what is that saying, "Ask and ye shall receive." So Ron and I started talking, just kind of small talk. Harry came back in and told me that Ron works in the grocery business as a night receiver (same thing my dad did when he and mom started dating) and started talking him up to me. I love Harry! He reminds me of a conglomeration of both my grandpas. So over the next couple of weeks, Ron and I started talking more during the time we were serving. One night I was going to meet up with some friends and go see a midnight showing of Ghostbusters. Ron asked what I was going to do after church and I told him about the movie, and asked him if he would like to come along. He said yes and I got his number and told him I would call when I found out the details. Well the movie never happened, but we ended up talking for about a good 30 minutes the first time on the phone.

Over the next week or so, we would talk more and more on the phone and at church about anything and everything. There was never any silence over the phone. We were also going to home fellowship on Wednesday nights so that gave us more time to talk. One night he asked if I would like to go out for dinner after service and of course I said yes. I was really enjoying his company and found him extremely well versed and knowledgeable.

So we went to dinner (Saturday) and then went for a walk on the beach. I went home that night and prayed. I honestly was not ready for a relationship as I already had so much on my plate and I was tired of dating. I was tired of investing my time and energy into things that never turned out more that a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I want to find "The One"! So that night I asked God that if I should peruse this as more than a friendship that he would show me. Now up to this point in my walk, I had never really seen anything that I had asked God for, except for Caleb. I am sure He was showing me Himself all the time, but I just never noticed it.

The next day (Sunday) was just a typical day and when Ron texted me he called me "my". I was at the beach with Terri and the text he sent was "How is my beach bunny today?" I thought, why is he referring to me as "my"? I ignored it and it just kind of continued.

So comes Tuesday and after my morning study, I thought I would "test" God. FYI....never test God unless you are ready to have it confirmed! I was talking to God and told him that I found myself growing fond of Ron and enjoyed our time and conversations. I asked Him that I not date anyone else except my future husband and that if Ron was "The One" then he would show me in a way that I would not be able to ignore or put off as anything else, like I did with the "my" thing. I went about my day and I came home from lunch. Ron had worked 3am-Noon and he called me when he got home. He told me that he was talking to his co-worker about me and informed me that he told her something that would probably freak me out. Jokingly I asked if I needed to sit down, and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea. I thought to myself "great, just as I'm starting to dig him, he's going to tell me that he just wants to be friends". So I prepared myself for the worst. What came over the phone, still blows me away! He told me that his friend noticed a change in him over the past few weeks and wanted to know what was up. He told her that he was talking and hanging out with me. He showed her a picture I had sent to him of Hunny and I, he paused for a second and said, "Then I told her that I feel that you are my future wife." (OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG! was going through my head!!!!!) I started to cry! But of course they were happy tears!

Within 5 hours, God answered my prayers! I was shocked at what Ron had said. We had only talked and hung out maybe 2 or 3 times. No hugging, hand holding, nothing had happened between us. Nothing physical at all!!!!!!! Nothing like this had ever happened in my life...EVER! What man tells a girl that after only knowing her for 2 weeks! I then told him of what I prayed for that morning. He started laughing. I was completely blown away!

Now each and every day, I pray that God continues to give us confirmations that we are meant to be together and that we are each others help mates, but I don't know if it gets more clear than that. He reminds me so much of my dad in his laid back attitude. And you know that girls tend to look for things in their mates that their dad's possessed. I mean he even has the same job as my dad did. So I will just keep praying and walking along the path of this unknown and see where it leads. Who knows, maybe it'll lead down an aisle towards Ron and Pastor Mike :)

Genesis Chapter 5

So tonight in class, there was about maybe 15 minutes left for the teacher to finish his lesson and we still had an entire chapter to finish, Genesis 5. This lists 10 men in the lineage of Adam. I thought to my self, "Great, he's going to start talking and half way through he will get cut off and I will have to listen to the next lesson to finish this chapter!" He started talking about how everything in the Bible is God inspired and how we need to pay attention to even the littlest details that God has given to us.

He then starts talking about the 10 men listed in chapter 5: Adam, Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalael, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech and Noah. It starts with the first man, Adam, and ends with Noah bringing the flood. No real big surprise, right? Well then he started giving us the meanings of these guys names:

Adam: man
Seth: appointed
Enosh: mortal
Kenan: sorrow
Mahalael: blessed God
Jared: came down
Enoch: teaching
Methuselah: his death shall bring
Lamech: despairing
Noah: comfort

Now if you list out these 10 names in genealogical and chronological order you have this sentence:
Man was appointed mortal sorrow, but the blessed God will come down teaching that His death shall bring the despairing comfort.

Here in Genesis 5 God was telling us that Jesus would come to save us from eternal sorrow! How amazing and awesome is God!

July 13-18

This week was a little bit different than the rest. It started out with me...loosing my camera! I looked all over the place for it! I had been doing some cleaning and it was no where to be found. So as I was laying down on my couch Thursday night, there it was under the table! Of all places for it to be! I was all ready to go out and buy an "adult camera", lol. Not the point and shoot kind, but a real kind with the lens and everything. Oh well, maybe it was God telling me to wait :) But I did take some fun pictures of Friday through Sunday, so enjoy:

Friday: I got a phone call from Dave telling me that he found a baby bunny swimming in his parents pool. I told him that he could bring it over and I would bring it to my vets appointment with Hunny (she has a hot spot on her tail). The bunny was so cute and soft! Honestly, I didn't want to give him up, but I knew that they would know what to do with it better than I would. Besides, I have my crazy Hunny, who took one look at the bunny was got all excited like it was a new toy!

Saturday: There are a few pictures here:

Saturday am: 181!!!!! I am so excited to see that number come up on the scale! I am so close to my goal, I can taste it (and it tastes like a big and rich piece of cheesecake smothered in hot fudge!)

Saturday afternoon: I went to a BBQ at my friend Belinda's house. I was pretty much one of the youngest people there, but I had fun. Here are Belinda (right), Jacqueline (middle) and me.

Still Saturday afternoon: After the BBQ I had to head off to church. I knew the freeway going from Leucadia back up to Oceanside was going to be packed, so I took the coast! Can I just say that I am so extremely blessed to be living in a virtual postcard!

Sunday: Once again, there are a few pictures for today (hey I gotta make up for rest of the week somehow)

Sunday morning - 8am: Need I say more! It's 80 degrees and I am not even getting any major sun in the apartment! Time to start baking cookies, hahaha.

Sunday afternoon: My new bed set! My other one was about 2 years old, and it had stains and upon me trying to wash the bed spread, I put it in the washer and dryer, but it completely separated all of the padding in it :( Go figure I try and say a little bit of money instead of just taking it in for dry cleaning, and I end up having to buy a new set.

Still Sunday afternoon: I love this picture! I honestly think this is one of my favorite of Hunny! It does not need any explanation...enjoy

Sunday evening: So remember me saying that I was baking cookies? Well here they are! I made them for a friends birthday (which was Saturday) as well as a semi experiment. Mom and I are going to be having some bake sales to help raise some money for the Survivor Crop in October, and I wanted to see what these cookie cutters did. These cookies were a bit too heavy, but I have some smaller flower cookie cutters and I think they will work out perfectly to make cookie pops!

So pretty much that was my weekend. Super busy and next weekend, I'm helping Bill and Holly move up to Temecula. Am I excited? Kinda, sorta, but I am NOT looking forward to the scorching heat of Temecula

July 5-10

Here's my week:


July 5th: My poor feet! I wore the cutest heels to the STP concert on Saturday, but man-o-man, they killed my feet! I have 5 blisters and my "ring" toe on my left foot feels so wierd. Its like I have something wrapped around it.



July 6th: Well today I have officially lost 50 lbs! I still have some omre to loose, and I really want to loose them soon!





July 7th: Just got done working out. This WILL NOT help me loose the rest of the weight, but darn it was yummy!




July 8th: I got a scrapbook kit in the mail and it had instructions to make pop-up cards. My sponsor kids birthday is this month as well, so I made her this card. It's super cute and is sparkly too :)



July 9th: YEAH ME! I went grocery shoppong and remember to take my own bags! I was able to get everything I bought in them, so no plastic bags came home with me. I even took my old plastic bags to the store for recycling. Go green!


July 10th: So tonight Terry and I went to Crusin' Grad! It was so much fun! There are 3 pics on here for today:
The clouds as I was heading out to Oceanside to pick up terry. They look like small cottonballs.

My favorite car that I saw on Crusin' Grand. There were so many, but this was my favorite of all!


GASP!!!!! I wore a dress out in public! I actually felt like a grown up (weird?) but comfy in it.

July 11th: There have been so many spiders in the apartment complex and this web was right outside my door. I love looking at webs. It is amazing what a little creature can get done in 1 night and that it can stand up to things flying into it. God is amazing!

Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince

So a group of P-1's (friends who listen to the Mikey show) are all going to the Harry Potter Preview on the 15th.......THEY ARE ALL SOLD OUT! So it is looking like I will be seeing it later than everyone else.

Oh well.